Top 10 Signs You're Becoming Your Parents

1. You find yourself saying "Back in my day..." unironically, and worse, you actually mean it. Holy shit, when did you become the old fart reminiscing about the good old days? Next thing you know, you'll be yelling at clouds.

2. Your idea of a wild night out is finding a great deal on bulk paper towels at Costco. Congratu-f***ing-lations, you've reached peak adulthood. Nothing says "I've given up on life" quite like getting excited over discounted cleaning supplies.

3. You start every phone conversation with "Are you sitting down?" regardless of the news. For f***'s sake, Mom, I don't need to sit down to hear about Aunt Karen's new haircut. But now you're doing it too, you dramatic bastard.

4. You've developed an uncanny ability to predict the weather using only your knee pain. Who needs a goddamn meteorologist when your joints can forecast better than any Doppler radar? You're basically a human barometer at this point.

5. Your music playlist is stuck in the decade of your high school years, and you're convinced that's when "real music" peaked. Face it, you old fart, you're just one step away from yelling at kids to turn down their "noise" and get off your lawn.

6. You've mastered the art of the disapproving look, capable of silencing a room full of millennials with just one raised eyebrow. It's like you've weaponized disappointment, you judgmental asshole. Your face is basically a non-verbal "tsk tsk" machine.

7. You catch yourself turning down the radio to see better while driving, a move you once mocked mercilessly. What the actual f***? How does that even work? Yet here you are, driving like a damn senior citizen, squinting at road signs in silence.

8. Your Facebook feed has transformed into a never-ending stream of shared recipes and "kids these days" rants. Congratulations, you've become a digital version of your mom's refrigerator door and your dad's favorite armchair combined. Social media is your new soapbox, you opinionated old coot.

9. You've started hoarding plastic containers, convinced that one day you'll need that specific lid for that specific container. Your kitchen drawers look like a f***ing Tupperware graveyard. It's not being thrifty, it's being a goddamn container hoarder.

10. You find yourself genuinely excited about new cleaning products and innovative storage solutions. Jesus Christ, when did you become so boring? You used to get excited about concerts and parties, now you're creaming your pants over a new mop design. What the hell happened to you?