The Incredible Bulk: The Ridiculous Rise of Arnold Schwarzenegger

From the frozen tundra of rural Austria to the bright lights of Hollywood, the story of Arnold Schwarzenegger is a tale so bizarre and outrageous that it simply couldn't be fiction. This is a man who quite literally fought his way out of a small European village by hitting the weights and chugging protein shakes until his muscles had muscles.

Born in 1947 to a family of modest means, young Arnold quickly realized that his tiny hometown of Thal wasn't nearly big enough to contain his massive ambitions (and let's face it, probably his massive arms too). So he did what any rational adolescent would do - he started furiously pumping iron and entering bodybuilding competitions with the dream of becoming the most famous muscleman since Popeye.

And boy, did he ever succeed. With his cartoonish proportions and an unquenchable thirst for self-promotion, Schwarzenegger bulldozed his way to the top of the bodybuilding world, winning Mr. Universe at the ripe old age of 20 and Mr. Olympia a staggering 7 times. It was around this time that he also unveiled his trademark line - shouting "Get to the chopper!" at the most mundane of circumstances. Need a spotter at the gym? "Get to the chopper!" Forgot to pick up eggs at the grocery store? "Get to the chopper!"

But being the biggest badass in the iron-pumping game wasn't enough for the inhumanly ambitious Austrian Oak. Nope, he had his sights set on that most prestigious of professions - movie stardom. So in the ballsiest move since David slayed Goliath, Schwarzenegger packed his bags and his oiled-up pecs and headed to Hollywood in the 1970s with just a thick accent and "I'll be back" catchphrase to his name.

Incredibly, it worked. Thanks to his larger-than-life charisma and an acting range that spanned from A to B, Schwarzenegger landed his breakout role as the Terminator and quickly became the biggest action star since...well, ever. He grunted and flexed his way through an endless stream of blockbusters, playing everything from an android assassin to a secret agent with a penchant for making ice puns. Before long, the man who once dreamed of being the world's most famous bodybuilder was one of the most recognizable celebrities on the planet.

But why stop there? In a plot twist straight out of one of his films, Schwarzenegger decided to take a break from Hollywood and become the governor of California, because apparently running the world's fifth-largest economy seemed like a good use of his skillset. Amazingly, Californians went for it, electing the "Governator" in a historic recall election that was just a dress rehearsal for the shitshow of American politics to come.

So let this be a lesson to the dreamers and strivers out there - if a muscle-bound Austrian immigrant with a funny accent and a talking baby co-star can rise to become a global superstar and leader of millions, maybe anything is possible. Or maybe Schwarzenegger is just a teflon-coated freak of nature who simply willed himself to greatness through sheer force of bicep peaks and catchphrases. Either way, what a story.