Billie Eilish

Let's be real - if you were a moody teenager in the late 2010s, Billie Eilish was either your spirit animal or the target of your irrational ire. At just 18 years old, this emo waif from Los Angeles had the entire mainstream shook with her haunting whisper-vocals and penchant for wearing biohazard-level baggy clothes.

Was she a brooding modern-day Stevie Nicks? A tiny alien beamed to Earth to warp young minds with her melancholic musings? Or just a random tall kid with Muppet-like features and a penchant for green hair dye? The world had no choice but to stop and stare at this fascinating, off-kilter creature.

Of course, the origin story of Billie's ascent to goth-pop domination is as quirky as you'd expect. While most pre-teens were dreaming of being the next Britney, little Billy Eilish was too busy being homeschooled by her starry-eyed parents and writing songs about corpse brides or whatever. No wonder she grew up to be the living embodiment of Sadness from Inside Out.

But don't let the melancholy schtick fool you - Eilish is also one precocious, foul-mouthed little firecracker. With her penchant for dropping C-bombs and F-grenades, she makes a Tarantino flick sound like Sesame Street. Her edgelord spirit is matched only by her savage sense of humor and total lack of chill.

Yet for all her grinch-like airs, Billie's also got a heart of gold. She's been an outspoken advocate for everything from vegetarianism to body positivity to destigmatizing Tourette's. So while her music might sound like the howls of the eternally damned, her message is all about radical self-acceptance and letting your freak flag fly.

Of course, the real reason all you cranky Zoomers worship at the altar of Eilish is because she managed to bag an emo dreamboat boyfriend before the rest of us even hit puberty. At 16, she was already shacking up with that tall glass of brooding, Brandon Q. Adams. While we were all still trying to figure out how bras worked, Billie was out here living the angsty teen dream.

So pour some nightcrawler-venom out for the O.G. goth GF. Whether you see her as an icon of vulnerability or just a strange little weirdo, one thing is clear - Billie Eilish is the melancholy spirit animal for an entire generation of youths. Suck on that, Avril Lavigne! The sad girl torch has been passed to a new era.